7.28.08 WWE RAW Report

Written by WabCo WWE

What’s up K4Ders…
I’m WabCo and this is your RAW recap for 7-28-08…
I have a fucked up eye and am tired as shit…so tonight is going to be the Pessimistic RAW Report! Because I’m not in the mood for the bullshit that I’m sure is in store for us so lets go…WWE intro!…we get a video recap of last week’s RAW. If you missed it read my recap! That was a good video. RAW intro. I think there is a new video for the RAW intro… I may be wrong about that.
Pyro and Ballyhoo and we are Live with King and Cole from Washington D.C.

Cena time…and he looks pissed. Batista’s home-town crowd is shitting on Cena as he starts to talk. He says that he fucked up and wants to face the consequences. He calls out Batista so they can settle the consequences right now…and… after a long delay… we get Batista! Batista is rockin’ a throw-back Bullets jersey…which I happen to have one of. Batista tells Cena that he knows that he didn’t mean to hit him so they are cool. Batista tells Cena that he gets the first shot at the WHC after he wins it at Summerslam. Cena says he’s not sure Batista is next in line for a title shot. Cena puts over the McMahonlessness of RAW and wants a match with Batista tonight…a WM Main Event live on RAW….Shane-O-Mac!!! He says his sister and him have appointed a new GM of RAW who he will announce later. The new GM is already busting ass…including CM Punk v. “one of the most technically sound free agents in our business”. Cena gets a match too. Cena is teaming with Batista to face JBL and Kane. Commercial time.

We’re back and out comes Kelly Kelly for an intergender tag match. She will team with D’Lo against Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix. They go to the back from “moments ago” where Santino and Beth are saying that their relationship is strictly professional.

Kelly Kelly & D’Lo Brown v. Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix

The guys start. Inverted atomic drop after some comedy. D’Lo counters a sunset flip to a clothesline. D’LO misses a splash in the corner and Santino gets a neck breaker. Santino tries to lift d lo up but can’t, so Beth comes in and lifts him up. KK tags herself in and Beth takes control. Santino says he can handle her and comes in, knocks d lo off the apron, and rolls up KK for the win.

Winners via pinfall: Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix

Santino celebrates like a maniac and we get more sexual tension …Santino thinks about asking Beth something but is pussing out he starts to walk away and she grabs him and they make out a little. This is a little disturbing to me. ..And more commercials.

We get a plug for SNME THIS SATURDAY. Shane o mac is looking at a pic of Vinnie and JBL walks in and asks how his dad is…Shane doesn’t answer and just asks JBL what he wants…we get a lot of talking with a thesis that JBL wants the title shot at Summerslam. Shane o says they have to take it up with the new GM. Shane o gets a call from the new gm. Back to the ring and we are going to get a Tag team championship match Hacksaw Hime Duggan is out first and he will team with Jerry the king Lawler. We get a video of last week. A ref comes down and tells us that hacksaw isn’t teaming with the King, but Cole is. Dibiase and Rhodes are out

King and Cole v. Simply Priceless © World Tag Team Championship Match

King and Dibiase start. They lock up and Dibiase drives king into the corner. They break and do the same thing again. Dibiase whips king into the corner and gains control. Rhodes in now and is going to slap king, but king beats him to it. Back and forth in the corner, Rhodes hits a top rope bulldog and gets 2 with the pin attempt. Rest hold time…Rhodes misses a second rope elbow and starts taking rights from king. King sets whodes up for a piledriver but Dibiase makes the save. Cole accidently tags himself in and Rhodes throws king to the outside. Cole gets a shot in before Rhodes hits a big clothesline for the 1-2-3.

Winners via pinfall and STILL World Tag Team Champions: Dibiase and Rhodes

The ref did a good job of being vocal in that match since we didn’t have any commentators. Cole is out in the ring as we go to commercial.

Mike Adamle is going to fill in for Cole. Jamie Noble is out with Layla and says that the new GM better realize that he is the next ideal intercontinental champion. He challenges Kofi Kingston to come down and get it on. So we get a non-title match.

Jamie Noble v. Kofi Kingston ©

Noble gains control early but Kofi stops it with kicks and punches and all kinds of quick shit. Double leg drop gets a pop. Noble almost steals it with a roll through, Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere and that’s the match folks.

Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston

Backstage CM Punk is going to face “the hottest free agent in sports entertainment” next…who is it?

We’re back and JBL joins the announce team and tells Adamle to shut up and Listen. Punk is out first and has a staring contest with JBL. And his opponent…William Regal! Complete with an ugly ass gimmick. What the fuck is he wearing!?

CM Punk © & perpetual mid-carder v. William Regal w/ half body spandex.

They lock up and roll around the ropes. They trade wristlocks and control goes back and forth. Adamle reminds us that Regal beat punk last time they faced one on one. Some good mat wrestling going on now. Punk hits a jawbreaker and starts hitting kicks and knees. Regal rolls out and kicks Punks head into the ring post which busts him open. Regal hooks in a camel clutch and continues to work the head of Punk. {Punk attempts a small package out of a submission but only gets one. Regal keeps working the head with submissions. Trading strikes now as punk gains momentum. Good crisp strikes back and forth. WOW great looking double underhook belly to back suplex regal goes for the regal stretch but Punk gets out and hits the GTS out of nowhere. 1-2-3

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

JBL in the ring now to get him some…but here comes KANE and his bag… Kane uppercuts JBL, punk kicks Kane, JBL lays out punk with a big boot. Kane acts crazy as shit and thinks about whether or not he is going to kill JBL…he decides not to, and we go to commercial.

We are back and Jericho is out for the FINAL Highlight Reel.
He is dressed in a suit and is accompanied by Lance Cade. Jericho kinda looks like a twat in a suit…haha fucking awesome…the jeritron is hanging in the background destroyed. Jericho tells us he is ostracized for growing up. He tells the crowd that this is the last Highlight Reel because he is growing up and doesn’t care about being a pony for the people anymore. He tells us that he has a compilation video of a man we will never see in the ring again...no not HBK...but Y2J. The video includes some funny ass moments from Y2J. Jericho says he is embarrassed of that. He says that when he destroyed HBK…he destroyed the fans too. Cade gets the stick and says that he appreciates Jericho even though the people don’t Cade says that Jericho saved him and he will be forever grateful. Jericho says that he appreciates Cade as well…and tells HBK to stay home and enjoy the rest of his life. Now Jericho is plugging himself to the title match at Summerslam against CM Punk as they pay the bills.

We’re back and JR comes out to join commentary. And just like Adamle he “got a call that he needed to be here”…probably has nothing to do with them taping SNME before RAW. Mickie James out and gives some love to her dad. Jillian out now…damn she’s annoying.

Mickie James © v. Jillian Hall

Collar and elbow tie up to start…MJ goes for a MickieRana early on but gets it blocked and Jillian gains control. I’m not going to recap this match because no one cares. Tilt-a-Whirl DDT wins it.

Winner via pinfall: Mickie James

Katie Lea comes out and kicks Mickie’s ass as she is talking to her dad after the match. Katie Lea on the stick now. Paul Burchill is out to support his sissy. She says that that was for the mysterious new GM and that she wants him or her to take notice of the next Women’s Champion and Intercontinental Champion. SMACKDOWN recap video. Tard Grisham with Shane-O-Mac...and Grisham wants to know who the new GM is. He tells Tard to sit back and enjoy the show…he will find out when everyone else does. And commercials…

Back live with King, Adamle, and JR. We get a Summerslam plug. And a SNME plug…Jenny McCarthy v. Autism is headlining. She is still hot as hell. But ya…good cause people …autism is serious shit. Cena talking to Cryme Tyme in the back…they are offering Cena back-up because Batista can’t be trusted. Cryme Tyme leaves and Cena and Batista tell each other that they don’t trust each other…typical promo…main event after the commercial.

We are back and JBL is out first, followed by Kane, Cena, and Batista. Main Event time!

JBL & Kane v. John Cena & Batista

JBL and Cena start us off, JBL starts hammering Cena but Cena fights back and tags in Batista, Big Dave works JBL in the comer and hits a power slam. Kane and Cena both come in and JBL and Kane both get knocked out of the ring. Cena and Batista face to face as they go to commercial one last time. We are back and JBL is controlling Cena, Kane gets tagged in and hits a dropkick to a seated Cena. Kane works Cena in the corner. Body slam and a pin attempt gets 1. Chinlock by Kane and we get the build for the hot tag. Cena fights toward Batista, but Kane pulls him away and goes out for a second. Cena and Kane are trading right hands. Kane hits a sidewalk slam and goes up top; Cena ducks the fist and hits DDT. Batista is reeling for the tag now…JBL in…Batista in!...Batista hits clotheslines in each corner and hits JBL with a spinebuster. Kane in but gets knocked away. JBL whips Batista into the ropes, which Kane pulls down making Batista fall to the outside. JBL brings Big Dave back in the ring and gets 2 with a cover. Kane back in now and works Batista’s ribs. Body scissors from Kane now and Batista is fighting back with a little ground and pound. JBL gets tagged in and cheap shots Cena. JBL kicks Batista’s ass in the corner while the ref is distracted…Batista hits a spear, but Kane distracts him and JBL hits a big boot. JBL accidently hits Kane…Kane grabs JBL by the neck Batista hits Kane with a spear…Cena tags himself in and lifts up Kane! FU cover 1-2-3!!!

Winners via pinfall: Cena and Batista

Cena and Batista are in the ring as Shane-O-Mac is out to introduce the new GM for RAW…..and it’s….Mike Adamle…who is in the ring now…and announces that it will be John Cena…v. Batista at Summerslam. They stare each other down as RAW goes off the air.

Mark-Out Moment: umm…The Highlight Reel was really well done, and I marked for the destroyed Jeritron I guess…

Bullshit Moment: Adamle as GM…what the fuck…that’s the best they could come up with?

Final Thoughts: I really didn’t like this RAW…the main event was a decent match, as were a couple others, but the huge build for the new GM resulted in bullshit. They should have brought Regal back in a better position. I do like to see that they are trying to create interest in the IC Strap. Also Santino and Jericho delivered for me as usual. WWE can do better.